Birth story.

I woke up on the morning of Wednesday December 16th 2009 knowing that in just a few hours, I would meet my baby girl. Words cannot describe the anticipation I felt! I was going to meet the little life I had created. I wasn't really nervous, a strange sense of calm came over me. Not to mention I was super uncomfortable; more than ready to get that baby out!

Throughout my pregnancy my husband and I had countless discussions about what she would be like. We wondered who she would look like and how she would respond to us and the world around her. These were things I always had on my mind. Even though giving birth (in my case, by cesarean section) seemed like a very scary and tra
umatic thing to go through, I didn't care. I just wanted my baby!

I've always wondered how women did it, how they seemed so brave. But the feeling you get on the day you give birth overrides everything, instinct kicks in and you become strong and ready for anything. Nature is pretty amazing, isn't it?

I arrived at the hospital at 8:30am. I was the only one checking into Labor & Delivery that morning and the place was really quiet. The nurses knew who I was and immeditly gave me a gown to put on. I remember thinking, "OMG, here I go, I'm getting ready to have my baby!" I also thought it would be a long process checking in and that there would be other women there that the nurses had to tend to. I thought they wouldn't be very nice to me; they do this everyday and I haven't had many good experiences with medical staff. Instead, the nurses were extremely calming and sweet to me.

After I was hooked to the monitors I waited in pre-op for two hours. During that time a nurse made James go get some breakfast, which he forced himself to take a few bites of because the nurse didn't want him passing out in the O.R..

My Mom, Dad, and mother in law Sally came to show their support and await the arrival of the baby. Listening to the baby's heart beat on the monitor, watching my contractions on a printout, and talking with family was a nice way to pass the time. I felt ready and wasn't nervous until the anesthesiologist came in to talk to me about the epidural.

I knew exactly how an epidural was performed because I had read so much about them. Probably too much. I felt that I could have told him how to do it. I was a little terrified about the pain; it seems silly doesn't it?! He told me he was going to go ahead and give it to me now. "Now?" I thought! Normally they do not insert the epidural until you are in the O.R. however that morning the doc and O.R. techs where running a little behind and they wanted me to be ready for them. While the anesthesiologist went to get everything prepared, fear crept over me and I found myself fighting back tears.

Dun, dun, duunnnn... The anesthesiologist returned with his instruments ready to go. He had me sit on the edge of the bed and cleaned my lower back with antiseptic. My hubby, James, sat in a chair in front of me and held my hands. Thank goodness he did, he brings a sense of calmness over me no matter what is happening. I love that about him.

The anesthesiologist first gave me a numbing shot. I practiced my breathing and readied myself for the needle. It only felt like a bee sting, not nearly as bad as I had expected! Next was the scarier part: the giant needle and the catheter that they insert into your spine! You have to be very still because you definitely don't want the doctor to slip... OUCH!

He inserted the needle and then the catheter; I felt a LOT of pressure and it ached like a bad muscle cramp. He hooked the catheter tube up to a machine that delivers pain meds and taped it to my shoulder. It was done! It was so much easier than I thought it would be. I was so relieved!!

I sat back in the bed and waited for it to take effect and found myself apprehensive about feeling numb from the waist down. I couldn't imagine what that would be like. Then, suddenly, it was as if a cozy warm blanket had been wrapped around my legs and my whole body felt fuzzy and good. Then I became very calm. The chatter of my mind was shut off and I was able to just be there in the moment.

I waited there in pre op for 30 more minutes until they came to take me into the operating room. James had to wait behind to put on his scrubs. It turned out that he didn't like being left there without me and had become a ball of nerves! On the other hand, at this point I was feeling pretty euphoric. Thank goodness, because otherwise I think I would have been scared out of my mind.

The O.R. was cold and bright. There were so many techs and nurses in preparing for my surgery. They moved me onto the table and prepared me for the c-section. They put up a curtain so that I couldn't see the surgery and then put in a catheter which I am very thankful I couldn't feel.

Once I had been prepped, they brought James in. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so cute and I could tell he was nervous, scared, and excited. I think he was relieved to find out that I was feeling good and drugged up. Even so, my mind wasn't confused or "gone" in any way. I knew everything that was happening, I was just okay with it all!

The surgery began and I couldn't exactly tell what was going on, I just felt a lot of digging and pulling and tugging. I heard a loud sucking noise the whole time. I remember looking up at the anesthesiologist and saying "It feels like they are digging around in there." This made him laugh.

I remember the doctor saying that the baby didn't want to leaver her warm little nest inside of me. Every time the doctor tried to pull the baby down she would snuggle back up. (I learned the next morning that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and that the doc had to reach in and unwrap the cord to pull her out. No wonder she was breech!).

After about 20 minutes, I finally heard the doctor say, "okay, here she comes! Dad, get the camera ready!" They pulled her out and I heard her cry for the first time, It was the cutest sound I have ever heard. They held her up and James said "holy shit!" then bent down and kissed me. I couldn't say anything, I had tears in my eyes and I remember thinking she looked a little purple, but they said she looked good.

They whisked her away, wrapped her up tight, and brought her back to me so that I could see her face to face. I kissed her head and then a nurse took her to get weighed and cleaned up. James went with the baby and I stayed behind to get sewn up.

Suddenly, I was feeling a lot of pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me in my back and shoulders. I told this to the anesthesiologist and he immediately gave me some more pain meds through my IV. During a C-Section, air gets in through the incision and air pockets form throughout your body. Let me tell you, it hurts like hell! It feels like a terrible gas pain only in your shoulders, back, and chest.

It took the Doctor about 30 minutes to close me up and dress the incision. I was wheeled into post-op to rest where they made sure I was stable and comfortable. I was alone for about 15 minutes before I saw James and a nurse approaching the door wheeling in the baby. I was so excited to really meet her and hold her for the first time.

When she came in she was crying. James picked her up and put her in my arms and she immediately calmed down. I just sat there staring at her, unable to believe she was really here. I loved her so much already and I felt and immediate connection with her.

I decided to try breastfeeding her right then. I assumed it would take a few trys and the help of a lactation consultant to get her to latch on. I was wrong, she latched on right away! We were amazed; even the nurse was impressed. I loved and still love nursing her. It is such a bonding experience that only I can share with her.

I spent three days in the hospital recuperating. They were a rough few days but with the help of my amazing husband and pain killers they were manageable. My baby hardly left my arms the whole time. She slept in the hospital bed with me and we really got to know each other. She's the love of my life.

Bun in the oven.

The day I found out I was pregnant my Mother came over to help me and James pack for the move into our new house. This was April 17, 2009. All day I smelled weird smells while packing and I was complaining about it. Mom kept telling me.. "Kim.. I bet you're pregnant.. I don't smell anything!" And I would say, clearly in denial "No no no i don't think so." She kept joking with me about all day. I had been having pretty bad cramps, I was feeling extra hungry too, But I didn't feel any kind of "morning sickness" like they say. I just really didn't feel like I was. Then I get a text message from James! It said "Baby, I just know you're preggers, go get a test!!!!!" I thought "OH LORD. He's nuts." I just ignored him and kept packing. Later on when James got home he and my Mom were able to convince me to get a pregnancy test. Reluctantly I went and got the digital EPT.. "The Error Proof Test." I came home and while James and Mom waited in the living room I took the test.. thinking this was all a big waste of time! I waited a few minutes then went in alone to check it.. the word "Pregnant" stared up me. I think all the blood rushed out of my face. I walked out very quietly and said "I'm pregnant." I'll never forget James's face, he was so happy and tears where in his eyes.. I felt a few different emotions at once.. HOLY SHIT! NO NO NO WAY! OMG I'M NOT READY! then all of a sudden, Aw a baby!! we made a baby!! and finally YES.. I am ready and I am excited! I Really don't think I could have known that I was ready. I just became ready when I had to be.

We called his Mom and she was beside herself. Then my Dad to tell them the news. I remember feeling very nervous to tell my father.. I'm his little girl and I didn't know if he would be excited or if he would start lecturing me that I wasn't ready. I was way wrong, he was so happy that he would be a Grandaddy and happy for James and me to be parents.

Pregnancy overall was a great experience for me. In the first trimester I never had any kind of nausea or morning sickness. However I had a constant "icky" feeling that would get worse if I was hungry.. which was most of the time! The worst part I have to say was my heightened sense of smell. I could smell everything, and things that I used to love I hated the smell of.. like my favorite foods, candles, perfumes and soaps. The second trimester was so much better. I basically felt normal. It was awesome watching my belly grow and getting pictures of the baby and of course finding out the sex!! I was 20 weeks along the day we went to find out. It was the most nerve wracking experience waiting in the waiting room at my OB's office. I wanted a girl SO badly!! I was even thinking to myself I might be a little more then bummed if it was a boy. I was thrilled when I found out my wish came true. "See.. there are her girly parts right there." Said the technician doing my sonogram. "REALLY!? Are you sure??" I said as I burst into tears. It felt amazing to know what SHE was and it made me feel instantly closer to the little life growing in my belly. James and I only had a girl named picked out.. so that was a plus! Ada Rayne would be her name and I couldn't wait to start decorating her room.


Start the nesting!! Preparing for a baby is a lot of work.. everyone tells you this.. but BOY is if FUN! I decided instead of painting the walls in her nursery I would get decals. I wanted a nature theme. I found fantastic deals on personalized vinyl decals on Etsy.com. I would order some here an there and every time one arrived I would put it on the walls. We got furniture from James's father and a rocking chair from my parents. All the other decor came from lots of other family and friends at my showers. Here is the finished room.



On to the third trimester.. Ok for me the third trimester had so many ups and downs! I was getting huge and already gained way more weight then I thought I would. It started to take a toll on my hips and I was having really bad pains in my groin and my lower abdomen. I went to a physical therapist and prenatal yoga and did some exercises to strengthen my muscles and ease the pain. Around 32 weeks my Midwife noticed that Ada's head was still at the top of my belly and got a little concerned that she wasn't going to turn down. She told me that technically I had plenty of time but that most babies would have already started making there way around by now. I had a sonogram at a specialist office at 35 weeks.. she was still head up with her foot on her forehead. They were still telling me that she had time, I didn't really worry about it too much.. I tried a few exercises to make her turn, like laying inclined for a while, I did some yoga poses, I even tried playing music at the bottom of my belly. I went to a chiropractor for a few weeks for the Webster technique. Nothing worked! I kept having sonograms over the next month to check her placement but I always knew she was breech.. her head was a big ball in my ribs!! Also she was constantly kicking me in the bladder! :) At 37 weeks I saw the OB at the practice I had been going to. My midwife had to hand me over to her because there was nothing she could really do for me having a breech baby. The doc looked over my file and talked to me about the position of the baby. She told me we could try to do an External Version to turn her. If I didn't do the version I would have to schedule a C-Section a week before my due date because they didn't want me going into labor. She told me I had about a 30% chance of being able to turn the baby and that just wasn't enough to convince me. I already had a bad feeling about it and even though I wanted to go through giving birth to my baby the natural way, I just felt in my gut it would be better for both of us to have the C-Section. So I scheduled my surgery for Wednesday December 16th at 11am. I was super nervous at first about the surgery, I had never even been in the hospital. I read online EVERYTHING I could about Cesarean Sections and I felt very educated on the entire process. This made me feel loads better and I was able to look forward to it without being so scared. In two weeks I would meet my baby!!

Next comes the birth story...