Throughout my pregnancy my husband and I had countless discussions about what she would be like. We wondered who she would look like and how she would respond to us and the world around her. These were things I always had on my mind. Even though giving birth (in my case, by cesarean section) seemed like a very scary and tra
umatic thing to go through, I didn't care. I just wanted my baby!
I've always wondered how women did it, how they seemed so brave. But the feeling you get on the day you give birth overrides everything, instinct kicks in and you become strong and ready for anything. Nature is pretty amazing, isn't it?
I arrived at the hospital at 8:30am. I was the only one checking into Labor & Delivery that morning and the place was really quiet. The nurses knew who I was and immeditly gave me a gown to put on. I remember thinking, "OMG, here I go, I'm getting ready to have my baby!" I also thought it would be a long process checking in and that there would be other women there that the nurses had to tend to. I thought they wouldn't be very nice to me; they do this everyday and I haven't had many good experiences with medical staff. Instead, the nurses were extremely calming and sweet to me.
After I was hooked to the monitors I waited in pre-op for two hours. During that time a nurse made James go get some breakfast, which he forced himself to take a few bites of because the nurse didn't want him passing out in the O.R..
My Mom, Dad, and mother in law Sally came to show their support and await the arrival of the baby. Listening to the baby's heart beat on the monitor, watching my contractions on a printout, and talking with family was a nice way to pass the time. I felt ready and wasn't nervous until the anesthesiologist came in to talk to me about the epidural.
I knew exactly how an epidural was performed because I had read so much about them. Probably too much. I felt that I could have told him how to do it. I was a little terrified about the pain; it seems silly doesn't it?! He told me he was going to go ahead and give it to me now. "Now?" I thought! Normally they do not insert the epidural until you are in the O.R. however that morning the doc and O.R. techs where running a little behind and they wanted me to be ready for them. While the anesthesiologist went to get everything prepared, fear crept over me and I found myself fighting back tears.
Dun, dun, duunnnn... The anesthesiologist returned with his instruments ready to go. He had me sit on the edge of the bed and cleaned my lower back with antiseptic. My hubby, James, sat in a chair in front of me and held my hands. Thank goodness he did, he brings a sense of calmness over me no matter what is happening. I love that about him.
The anesthesiologist first gave me a numbing shot. I practiced my breathing and readied myself for the needle. It only felt like a bee sting, not nearly as bad as I had expected! Next was the scarier part: the giant needle and the catheter that they insert into your spine! You have to be very still because you definitely don't want the doctor to slip... OUCH!
He inserted the needle and then the catheter; I felt a LOT of pressure and it ached like a bad muscle cramp. He hooked the catheter tube up to a machine that delivers pain meds and taped it to my shoulder. It was done! It was so much easier than I thought it would be. I was so relieved!!
I sat back in the bed and waited for it to take effect and found myself apprehensive about feeling numb from the waist down. I couldn't imagine what that would be like. Then, suddenly, it was as if a cozy warm blanket had been wrapped around my legs and my whole body felt fuzzy and good. Then I became very calm. The chatter of my mind was shut off and I was able to just be there in the moment.
I waited there in pre op for 30 more minutes until they came to take me into the operating room. James had to wait behind to put on his scrubs. It turned out that he didn't like being left there without me and had become a ball of nerves! On the other hand, at this point I was feeling pretty euphoric. Thank goodness, because otherwise I think I would have been scared out of my mind.
The O.R. was cold and bright. There were so many techs and nurses in preparing for my surgery. They moved me onto the table and prepared me for the c-section. They put up a curtain so that I couldn't see the surgery and then put in a catheter which I am very thankful I couldn't feel.
Once I had been prepped, they brought James in. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so cute and I could tell he was nervous, scared, and excited. I think he was relieved to find out that I was feeling good and drugged up. Even so, my mind wasn't confused or "gone" in any way. I knew everything that was happening, I was just okay with it all!
The surgery began and I couldn't exactly tell what was going on, I just felt a lot of digging and pulling and tugging. I heard a loud sucking noise the whole time. I remember looking up at the anesthesiologist and saying "It feels like they are digging around in there." This made him laugh.
I remember the doctor saying that the baby didn't want to leaver her warm little nest inside of me. Every time the doctor tried to pull the baby down she would snuggle back up. (I learned the next morning that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and that the doc had to reach in and unwrap the cord to pull her out. No wonder she was breech!).
After about 20 minutes, I finally heard the doctor say, "okay, here she comes! Dad, get the camera ready!" They pulled her out and I heard her cry for the first time, It was the cutest sound I have ever heard. They held her up and James said "holy shit!" then bent down and kissed me. I couldn't say anything, I had tears in my eyes and I remember thinking she looked a little purple, but they said she looked good.
They whisked her away, wrapped her up tight, and brought her back to me so that I could see her face to face. I kissed her head and then a nurse took her to get weighed and cleaned up. James went with the baby and I stayed behind to get sewn up.
Suddenly, I was feeling a lot of pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me in my back and shoulders. I told this to the anesthesiologist and he immediately gave me some more pain meds through my IV. During a C-Section, air gets in through the incision and air pockets form throughout your body. Let me tell you, it hurts like hell! It feels like a terrible gas pain only in your shoulders, back, and chest.
It took the Doctor about 30 minutes to close me up and dress the incision. I was wheeled into post-op to rest where they made sure I was stable and comfortable. I was alone for about 15 minutes before I saw James and a nurse approaching the door wheeling in the baby. I was so excited to really meet her and hold her for the first time.
When she came in she was crying. James picked her up and put her in my arms and she immediately calmed down. I just sat there staring at her, unable to believe she was really here. I loved her so much already and I felt and immediate connection with her.
I decided to try breastfeeding her right then. I assumed it would take a few trys and the help of a lactation consultant to get her to latch on. I was wrong, she latched on right away! We were amazed; even the nurse was impressed. I loved and still love nursing her. It is such a bonding experience that only I can share with her.
I spent three days in the hospital recuperating. They were a rough few days but with the help of my amazing husband and pain killers they were manageable. My baby hardly left my arms the whole time. She slept in the hospital bed with me and we really got to know each other. She's the love of my life.
I knew exactly how an epidural was performed because I had read so much about them. Probably too much. I felt that I could have told him how to do it. I was a little terrified about the pain; it seems silly doesn't it?! He told me he was going to go ahead and give it to me now. "Now?" I thought! Normally they do not insert the epidural until you are in the O.R. however that morning the doc and O.R. techs where running a little behind and they wanted me to be ready for them. While the anesthesiologist went to get everything prepared, fear crept over me and I found myself fighting back tears.
Dun, dun, duunnnn... The anesthesiologist returned with his instruments ready to go. He had me sit on the edge of the bed and cleaned my lower back with antiseptic. My hubby, James, sat in a chair in front of me and held my hands. Thank goodness he did, he brings a sense of calmness over me no matter what is happening. I love that about him.
The anesthesiologist first gave me a numbing shot. I practiced my breathing and readied myself for the needle. It only felt like a bee sting, not nearly as bad as I had expected! Next was the scarier part: the giant needle and the catheter that they insert into your spine! You have to be very still because you definitely don't want the doctor to slip... OUCH!
He inserted the needle and then the catheter; I felt a LOT of pressure and it ached like a bad muscle cramp. He hooked the catheter tube up to a machine that delivers pain meds and taped it to my shoulder. It was done! It was so much easier than I thought it would be. I was so relieved!!
I sat back in the bed and waited for it to take effect and found myself apprehensive about feeling numb from the waist down. I couldn't imagine what that would be like. Then, suddenly, it was as if a cozy warm blanket had been wrapped around my legs and my whole body felt fuzzy and good. Then I became very calm. The chatter of my mind was shut off and I was able to just be there in the moment.
I waited there in pre op for 30 more minutes until they came to take me into the operating room. James had to wait behind to put on his scrubs. It turned out that he didn't like being left there without me and had become a ball of nerves! On the other hand, at this point I was feeling pretty euphoric. Thank goodness, because otherwise I think I would have been scared out of my mind.
The O.R. was cold and bright. There were so many techs and nurses in preparing for my surgery. They moved me onto the table and prepared me for the c-section. They put up a curtain so that I couldn't see the surgery and then put in a catheter which I am very thankful I couldn't feel.
Once I had been prepped, they brought James in. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so cute and I could tell he was nervous, scared, and excited. I think he was relieved to find out that I was feeling good and drugged up. Even so, my mind wasn't confused or "gone" in any way. I knew everything that was happening, I was just okay with it all!
The surgery began and I couldn't exactly tell what was going on, I just felt a lot of digging and pulling and tugging. I heard a loud sucking noise the whole time. I remember looking up at the anesthesiologist and saying "It feels like they are digging around in there." This made him laugh.
I remember the doctor saying that the baby didn't want to leaver her warm little nest inside of me. Every time the doctor tried to pull the baby down she would snuggle back up. (I learned the next morning that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and that the doc had to reach in and unwrap the cord to pull her out. No wonder she was breech!).
After about 20 minutes, I finally heard the doctor say, "okay, here she comes! Dad, get the camera ready!" They pulled her out and I heard her cry for the first time, It was the cutest sound I have ever heard. They held her up and James said "holy shit!" then bent down and kissed me. I couldn't say anything, I had tears in my eyes and I remember thinking she looked a little purple, but they said she looked good.
They whisked her away, wrapped her up tight, and brought her back to me so that I could see her face to face. I kissed her head and then a nurse took her to get weighed and cleaned up. James went with the baby and I stayed behind to get sewn up.
Suddenly, I was feeling a lot of pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me in my back and shoulders. I told this to the anesthesiologist and he immediately gave me some more pain meds through my IV. During a C-Section, air gets in through the incision and air pockets form throughout your body. Let me tell you, it hurts like hell! It feels like a terrible gas pain only in your shoulders, back, and chest.
It took the Doctor about 30 minutes to close me up and dress the incision. I was wheeled into post-op to rest where they made sure I was stable and comfortable. I was alone for about 15 minutes before I saw James and a nurse approaching the door wheeling in the baby. I was so excited to really meet her and hold her for the first time.
When she came in she was crying. James picked her up and put her in my arms and she immediately calmed down. I just sat there staring at her, unable to believe she was really here. I loved her so much already and I felt and immediate connection with her.
I decided to try breastfeeding her right then. I assumed it would take a few trys and the help of a lactation consultant to get her to latch on. I was wrong, she latched on right away! We were amazed; even the nurse was impressed. I loved and still love nursing her. It is such a bonding experience that only I can share with her.
I spent three days in the hospital recuperating. They were a rough few days but with the help of my amazing husband and pain killers they were manageable. My baby hardly left my arms the whole time. She slept in the hospital bed with me and we really got to know each other. She's the love of my life.
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